When you are drowning in white guilt

Moving through predominantly white spaces means I am constantly inundated with white guilt. Recently, I was part of a DEI (diversity, equity, & inclusion) roundtable, and the moderators wanted to split us into breakout rooms to discuss "actionable" things we could do to be more "inclusive." Frankly, I couldn't think of any way to "reform" our institution to be more inclusive. I was frustrated that our diversity efforts were mirroring the white-centric self-help brand of anti-racism parroted in White Fragility (which has been critiqued by folks far more eloquent than me¹). I had no way of understanding what a genuinely inclusive environment would look like to me because that is not a reality I have ever experienced.

However, I later came across a primer which names some of the defining characteristics of white supremacy culture in organizational contexts and some actionable ways to name and address why those characteristics impede progress. If you are BIPOC, perhaps this primer can help you navigate your institution.

A primer on white supremacy culture in corporate tech

This primer on white supremacy culture² was compiled by Dismantling Racism Works (dRworks) and outlines how white supremacy values manifest within our institutions.

Some of the most common characteristics of an institution with values embedded in white supremacy include:

1. Progress is "bigger" or "more"
2. Quantity over quality
3. White defensiveness
4. Right to comfort
5. Either/or thinking
6. Objectivity
7. Power hoarding

Below, I've paraphrased and adapted these symptoms, along with the suggested "antidotes" and my own anecdotes from my own experiences in university projects and corporate tech. These symptoms can be used to recognize if you are in a toxic environment, and the antidotes may be helpful suggestions for your organizations' DEI committees, if you choose to be a part of those conversations.

1. Progress is "bigger" or "more"

Symptoms

• Success is always defined as bigger or more.
• Growth is always the goal, no matter what the unintended consequences may be

Antidotes

• Always consider the unintended consequences.
• Encourage Seventh Generation thinking: ask how the group's actions now will affect people seven generations from now.
• Ensure that any cost/benefit analysis includes all the costs, not just the financial ones (i.e., cost in morale, credibility, use of resources.)
• Include process goals that speak to how you want to do your work, and hold people accountable to those standards.

Example 1: I have worked on projects in which researchers and project managers have pushed to explicitly exclude conversations of "unintended consequences." In one case, the project was climate-related—a field that would surely benefit from long-term thinking rather than short-term gratification.

2. Quantity over quality

Symptoms

• Similarly to "progress is bigger/more" - all organization resources are directed toward producing measurable goals.
• Things that can be measured are more highly valued than things that cannot (i.e., numbers of people attending a meeting, newsletter circulation).
• Things that cannot be measured are dismissed (i.e., quality of relationships, democratic decision-making, ability to constructively deal with conflict)
• There is little or no value attached to the process.
• Participants show discomfort or disdain with emotion and feelings, particularly from BIPOC.

Antidotes

• Include process or quality goals in your planning.
• Make a clear mission/values statement that expresses how you want to do your work.
• Ensure this is a living document and that people are using it in their day to day work.
• Recognize that not everything is quantifiable, and keep this in mind as the organization considers ways to "measure" goals.

Example 1: The corporate tech world worships quantitative data. Even in UX, a field that claims to be "human-centered" and grounded in empathy, success is often defined as a hard metric.

For example, the success of web applications is defined by "engagement" metrics. As a result, designers intentionally exploit psychological principles to build addictive technologies (see B.J. Fogg's models of persuasive technology). In both industry and academia, I have seen product features explicitly designed to get more users "engaged" (i.e., interacting with the platform) because that is the only way to measure success in our current paradigm.

Additionally, I've seen a huge range in rigor in UX research. In academia, research methods and methodologies are peer-reviewed heavily scrutinized. In corporate tech, however, I've seen UX researchers get away with data bias that would make an AP Statistics student blush. This may be different in various companies, but the rigor was certainly pushed aside in my master's program.

Example 2: We used survey to recruit participants for co-design sessions. Every participant recruited was white. A few of us had already expected it (considering the tone and focus of the survey) and brought up that concern retrospectively, but there was zero accountability or review process and the lead researcher reacted with anger that we weren't being "positive."

3. White defensiveness

Symptoms

• The organization is set up to protect power as it exists rather than clarify who has power and how they are expected to use it.
• Criticism of those with power is viewed as threatening and inappropriate (or rude).
• People respond to new or challenging ideas with defensiveness, making it very difficult to raise these ideas.
• A lot of energy in the organization is spent trying to make sure that people's feelings aren't getting hurt or working around defensive people.
• In racialized settings, white people waste time and energy defending against racism charges rather than recognizing they - have a blind spot and sitting with the discomfort.
• The defensiveness of people in power creates an oppressive culture.

Antidotes

• Understand that structure cannot in and of itself facilitate or prevent abuse.
• Understand the link between defensiveness and fear (i.e., losing power, losing face, losing comfort, losing privilege).
• Demand that white individuals work on their defensiveness. Name the problem when it is one.
• Do not allow white people to waste time and space trying to explain their good intent.
• Recognize white tears. In racialized contexts, a white woman crying will always be taken as the truth.
• Recognize when a BIPOC is being painted in racial stereotypes (i.e., the angry Black woman or the silent Asian woman).
• Recognize that BIPOC have already spent a lifetime tempering their emotional responses by merely existing in a white supremacist culture.

Example 1: During a DEI meeting, one person mentioned how certain casual remarks could unintentionally stereotype team members negatively. A few white team members spent almost the rest of the meeting voicing their white guilt and trying to defend their rationale for the offensive comments rather than simply sitting with the discomfort and quietly learning to do better next time.

Good intent does not negate harmful impact. Besides, white people continually fail to recognize that in most cases, BIPOC already understand that the comment was not meant as a personal attack, so listening to white guilt is simply a waste of everyone's time and energy.

Example 2: After a months-long pattern of temper tantrums, severe procrasination, blame-shifting, self-victimization, refusal to accept accountability, and (of course) racial microaggressions, I wanted to split off and set hard boundaries with a white woman (WW) I was working with. She so thoroughly offended by my demands for boundaries that she weaponized her white tears to claim that my demands were unfair.

Additionally, everyone within my institution fell for her white tears and played "both sides." Unfortunately, I wasn't wise enough at the time to be even more firm in my boundaries. For the next few months, I (the rest of the team) wasted most of my emotional effort walking on eggshells to avoid offending the WW (an impossible feat). Needless to say, this was one of the most toxic dynamics I had ever had the misfortune to experience.

4. Right to comfort

Symptoms

• People in the organization believe that those with power (white people) have a right to emotional and psychological comfort (another aspect of valuing 'logic' over emotion).
• People who highlight problems get scapegoated for causing discomfort (i.e., when a BIPOC brings up racism).
• Individual acts of unfairness against white people are equated with the systemic racism that BIPOC face every day.
• Tone policing is rampant.
• White people demand "safe" spaces for themselves without understanding that BIPOC live in toxic environments by default.

Antidotes

• Sit with the discomfort and understand that discomfort is at the root of all growth and learning.
• Deepen your political analysis of racism and oppression. White supremacy is more than individual acts of ill-intent.
• Do not demand more uncompensated emotional labor from BIPOC.
• Understand that what is "safe" for white people is not the same as what is "safe" for BIPOC.
• Respect and enforce the boundaries demanded by BIPOC.

Example 1: This symptom is closely related to "white defensiveness." While working with the white woman (WW) mentioned in the previous example, I reached out to a friend who rightfully reminded me that merely being non-white does not necessarily qualify me to speak on racism. Trying to justify my own (and other BIPOC's) experience(s) to WW was emotional labor that I did not have the training, resources, or monetary compensation for. WW of course took offense to this and self-victimized herself, claiming that she didn't feel "socially safe" enough to do her work, believing that she was entitled to my emotional labor (to be coddled while she learned to be less racist).

To preserve my sanity throughout the project, I pulled back (which then got me typecasted as the "silent Asian woman"). When the team dynamic got increasingly toxic, I demanded boundaries (which got me typecasted as the "problematic woman of color"). Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

5. Either/or thinking

Symptoms

• Everything exists in a binary. Things are either/or, good/bad, right/wrong, with us/against us.
• There is no sense that multiple perspectives can be valid.
• Complex social problems are oversimplified (i.e., poverty is simply a result of lack of education or climate change can be solved with electric cars.)
• Creates conflict and increases a sense of urgency, as people feel they have to make decisions to do either this or that (rather than both/and), with no time or encouragement to consider alternatives, particularly those that may require more time or resources

Antidotes

• Notice and call out when people use 'either/or' language and push to develop more than two alternatives.
• Notice when people simplify complex issues, particularly when the stakes seem high or an urgent decision needs to be made.
• Encourage more in-depth analyses (see the CLA analysis framework).
• Avoid making decisions under extreme pressure.

Example 1: The same white woman (WW) in the last few examples would keep demanding that we "scope" the solution to exclude any nuance about the socioeconomic factors (especially race) contributing to climate change. When a peer explicitly asked about how race factors into the project, she deflected and made it about class rather than race.

Example 2: WW also demonstrated a consistent pattern of servere procrastination over the course of the project. While every other team member made consistent contributions over time, WW would wait until 1-2 days before the deadline, demand last-minute changes that fit her agenda, and then throw a tantrum if the other teammates disagreed. This technique was a particularly antagonistic: she knew that waiting until the last minute would put everyone else under stress, at which point, we were more likely to crack and give in to not have to deal with her tantrum.

6. Objectivity

Symptoms

• People believe that there is such a thing as being objective or 'neutral.'
• People believe that emotions are inherently destructive, irrational and should not play a role in decision-making or group process.
• People (especially BIPOC) who show emotion are invalidated.
• Impatience with any thinking that does not appear 'logical.'

Antidotes

• Recognize and honor different philosophical lenses or worldviews.
• Recognize that other people, particularly BIPOC, have lived experiences that white people will never understand. Honor those lived experiences as valid.
• Assume that everybody has a valid point, and your job is to understand what that point is.

Example 1: I was 15 minutes late to a 9 hour, overnight shift for an ongoing production event because of unexpected traffic (a ~10 minute drive took well over an hour). I held constant communication and informed my entire team that I would be late. When I got there, my teammate (a white man, or WM) threw a tantrum and called me unprofessional. Other members of the team excused WM's behavior because he was "tired and hungover from the night before."

Example 2: Despite WW spending five straight months of temper tantrums, severe procrasination, blame-shifting, self-victimization, and refusing to accept accountability, her competency was never questioned. Occasionally, she would be described as "having strong opinions" or "being independent."

Meanwhile, I never once raised my voice and continued to pull extra weight because of WW's lack of follow-through. Even my retrospectives and demands for boundaries explicitly focused on our future processes rather than on the WW's antagonistic and unproductive behavior. Still, I managed to get typecasted as both the "silent Asian woman" or the "problematic woman of color."

I had to document, process, and articulate my own perception to be believed. WW was believed by default.

7. Power hoarding

Symptoms

• "Leaders" are authoritarian.
• Power is seen as limited, only so much to go around.
• Those with power feel threatened with accountability.
• Those with power assume they have the organization's best interests at heart and assume those wanting changes are ill-informed (stupid), emotional, or inexperienced.

Antidotes

• Create a mission/values statement that articulates how those in power are expected to use and share that power.
• A good leader cultivates the unique power and skills of others. Hold your leaders accountable to this standard.
• Recognize and remove people who are in leadership roles for their egos rather than focusing on the mission.

Example 1: When the "team lead" of a school project called a last-minute meeting, I asked what the agenda was. The team lead couldn't answer, got defensive and angry, and scolded me for "not respecting her authority."

Example 2: During a climate project, a white team member spent months virtue-signaling and self-righteously declaring themselves as an ally who speaks up for marginalized people, while simultaneously criticizing the climate justice movement for being too divisive (and therefore "wrong" in their approach to climate).

For the weary

Despite being critical of both the tech industry and our capitalist society, I recently graduated from a master's program in human-computer interaction and am still holding down a full-time corporate tech job. Seeing the inherent white supremacy that is so deeply embedded in academia and corporate tech is bitterly demoralizing. Yet, I stay because I have bills to pay. I have felt exhausted for years, and the exhaustion has become debilitating within the past few months. There is no way to sugarcoat that.

As I mentioned in an example above, one of the most helpful and grounding pieces of advice I recieved was that simply being BIPOC does not qualify me to speak on issues of race. Speaking about race, particularly with white people, is incredibly draining and takes an enormous amount of emotional labor that I was not compensated for. You are in no way obligated to "meet people halfway" when they are learning to stop being racist, you do not need to be anyone's punching bag, you are allowed to be weary. Hopefully these symptoms will help you survive the toxic environment until you can find something better. Take care.

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